Diane or Elmo?

My chronic cough continues to be an enigma. It is always with me, even when I am not talking. But it becomes significantly worse when I use my speaking voice.

I have begun trying to speak in my head voice (sounding a bit like Minnie Mouse or Elmo); I find that doing this helps immensely to keep from going into coughing fits. When I speak in my normal speaking voice, I sound like PBS's Diane Rehm. When I revert to head voice, I sound like a cartoon character.

Because of these cough and vocal issues, I am asking everyone to please keep up with my progress by checking in periodically to the blog instead of expecting phone updates verbally. If you access the blog on-line (and not in email digest), you should be able to subscribe at the very bottom of the blog to be alerted by email when a new post is up. I know that many simply prefer talking by phone. I find it emotionally painful to be apologizing to so many folks who want to chat with me over the phone; I simply cannot sustain a conversation without exacerbating the cough. So many have said they just want to call me and "hear my voice." That is a sweet thought. But I must remind all well-meaning friends and family that my "voice" is no more.

I would like to find the source of this cough issue. I have been to an ENT. He said everything looked fine. He ordered a sinus scan; it was clear. I have been to a pulmonologist. He is totally perplexed; had no clue what was causing the cough. I have had chest x-rays and scans; all is clear. I have been on steroids, inhalers, and allergy meds; no relief. I take homeopathic and pharma cough meds; some relief, but minor and only temporary. It has been difficult trying to cope with this while dealing with stage-4 cancer. And now that I am on chemo, my coping capabilities are diminished. My oncologist has wondered if there are lymph issues associated with the cancer. But in essence, she is at a loss, as well. If anyone knows of a really competent (!) vocal / bronchial expert, I would appreciate any names. It is quite possible I have done some damage to my vocal cords; might explain why my speaking voice is terrible but my head voice (not as dependent on air passing over cords) is intact, both speaking and singing.

So.... if I do happen to have a conversation with any of you, know that you might hear me do a quick switch from Diane Rehm to Elmo mode. Try not to laugh too hard. And thank you for understanding.