Lab Rat in the Wig Room

First, let us define the "wig room." It is that mysterious place where I have seen patients entering and exiting when I am in the oncologist's waiting room. It is where chemotherapy is administered via IV.  It is that place from whence come stories abounding in the horrors of chemo: hair loss, nausea, fatigue, etc. People come and go from the wig room with various forms of head-gear to hide that trademark of chemo: loss of hair.

The Wig Room is a place I have been trying to avoid. But today I joined the ranks of IV chemo users.

How on earth did this happen? I had been on Afinitor since January (see previous post). And although results were not showing much advancement of the cancer, not much was happening in the way of improvement (according to a scan in early April). Also, blood work, although not getting worse, was getting better only in small increments.

My oncologist knows how I feel about full-body chemo; she knows I have been trying to avoid it. I think she was a bit astonished when I was the one expressing an interest in finding something stronger. I recall using that age-old adage, "Doctor, I think it's time to shit or get off the pot. What do you think?"

She then took the lead and offered me three options: 1)chemo in pill form, 2) full-body IV chemo with a once-a-month triple dose, or 3) full-body chemo more spread out in once-a-week-for-3-weeks cycles. I opted for #3. I felt that the pill option would not be potent enough, similar to the Afinitor I had been on. And although the triple-dose IV would mean fewer visits to the Wig Room, the full-body damage would be pretty extreme.

Then the doc sweetened the pot by offering to put me on a new experimental research study. A new chemo drug (in pill form), Alisertib, is being studied to see if it boosts the effects of the IV chemo (Paclitaxel). The study is randomized, with some patients taking only the IV chemo and some taking it in combo with Alisertib. Today I found out that I am one of the study patients who will be taking both chemotherapies. This might mean an increase in side effects; just not sure. But I am very happy to get the opportunity to be taking this added drug; initial studies have found it to be very effective.

Today was Day One in the Wig Room. Prior to the chemo IV, I was given anti-nausea med, steroid, and Benadryl in IV form. Before the pre-chemo cocktail was even finished, I could feel the effects of the Benadryl; I was super sleepy. I have remained pretty groggy all day; really had to rally my brain to teach piano students. But otherwise, I am feeling ok so far. Appetite, although somewhat suppressed, is ok. No puking, no nausea. I am told that the third day more side effects might appear as the anti-nausea and steroid meds where off. We shall see.

So I am now the Lab Rat in the Wig Room. I am trying to approach all of this like a Taoist. Although I am not driving the bus, I am going to do my best to enjoy the ride. Am working on adjusting my thinking.... just trying to approach all of this with a cheerful heart. I believe it was Wayne Dyer who said "Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change." Now, ain't THAT a little pearl of wisdom?