The Bus: Driver or Passenger?

I am not sure why, but I use the metaphor of a bus for a lot of situations. For instance, when having a conversation about leaving this earthly plane, I often say something like, "Well, when my time comes, I would like to just get hit by a bus." This idea worked for me until someone pointed out that such a situation would create bad karma between myself and the poor bus driver, who would be overcome with guilt and remorse -- so much for that plan!

In my journey to overcome my cancer, if you have followed this blog from its formation, you will know that I am a proponent of natural therapies, and have tried to keep as far away from Big Pharma as possible. Since my initial diagnosis in the fall of 2013, I have prided myself on "being the driver of my bus."

After a visit with my oncologist today, my status has changed -- from driver of the bus to passenger. Which bus? The AMA-approved bus, the Big Pharma bus, a bus that travels a road much more heavily traveled than the less-traveled road I have been taking.

My C-T scan a week ago came back showing some signs of improvement in the original cancer sites; but it also revealed some new anomalies in liver and bone. For reasons that are very personal (and not to be discussed in detail here), I have decided to board the Big Pharma bus. This is not a happy decision for me, but will provide peace to my family instead of fear.

This means that chemotherapy might be in my future. But first, I am on two new meds: Afinitor and Aromasin. These are usually given together to try to force the body to overcome its seeming resistance to hormone blocking activity. Afinitor (scientific name Everolimus) is a type of drug that supposedly targets cancer cells more precisely than chemotherapy drugs. Aromasin ( Exemestane) is a kinase (enzyme) inhibitor. Using these drugs together is supposed to stop the tumor from making new cancer cells and cuts off the blood supply to the cancer.

Sounds perfect, doesn't it? Until you read the two-page list of side effects -- everything from nausea, mouth sores, cough (which I already have!) and diarrhea to rash, anorexia and hair loss.

But alas, I am now on the Big Pharma bus and no longer driving or choosing the route. Those side effects are just part of the road trip.

Some of you are probably thinking: Wow, Betsy must be so disappointed. Yes, I am. This is not the road I wanted to take and, quite frankly, it stinks. But then again.... I have been dreading my visit with my oncologist today, worried that she would say something like: "Well, look sister, you are in really bad shape. Ain't nothin' we can do for you. Go home and put your affairs in order." I did not get this message from the doc. I left her office thinking, "Well, dammit, this just might work." And she said, "Look, I could give you these meds plus chemo right out of the starting gate. But let's just see if the drugs themselves have an effect." So I will go back in three weeks and see how the blood work looks.

Keep those good thoughts and prayers coming.