We are in the season of Advent -- a time for waiting and hoping. I have been doing a lot of that lately. I have also been "doing" lots of new stuff: changing my diet, adapting to the mistletoe injections, getting used to lots of add-on supplements, as well as the estrogen-blocker med. Change is hard when you're old. There are so many wonderful things I used to enjoy and now cannot: pizza and beer, wine and cheese, cookie dough, funnel cakes at county fairs. And it is difficult to go to social affairs. What to eat? Ah, a plate of veggies….hooray! But wait, the dip is sour-cream based. Bummer. Oh well, we learn to eat such things "naked." When Nick is in the kitchen heating up a roll for a sandwich, the whole house smells like warm bread. It takes a lot of self-talk to keep me strapped in and squelching the urge to run downstairs and attack that bread!
But all of these adjustments are so very minor compared to the rewards. The waiting and hoping -- but most of all, the "doing" -- are paying off. My last visit to the oncologist (Dec. 17) revealed a weight loss of 7 pounds. And my blood work showed an improvement in one of the cancer marker tests. The doctor confirms that the tumor is definitely not getting bigger -- and may, in fact, be reducing in size. These things are difficult to gauge, especially when weight loss has changed the "domain" of the lump somewhat. So we will re-visit the situation in 6 weeks.
Best news of the month: I fired my surgeon. You may remember in previous posts my angst about this idiot who enjoyed playing word games with me and filling me with fear of death -- or worse, radiation and chemo? Well, he is not my surgeon any longer. Dr. Burrell assured me there are many others who she felt confident would not rub me the wrong way. We also both agreed that, whatever I am doing now is working. So for the time being, no surgery is in sight. Down the road, an MRI will be ordered to re-evaluate. Dr. Burrell said to me, "Whatever it is you are doing, it seems to be working. So keep doing it." Woohoo!
So we wait and we hope. For the Advent of what? A Christ child, a new year, a brand new tomorrow. I wish all of you joy in this season of waiting and anticipation.
